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I needed all the help I could get in understanding people in junior high schoolIt was there that I had to face the fact that I was not destined to be liked by everyone, usually for reasons I couldnt figure outOnce when I was walking to school and was about a block away, an older student, one of the town hoods, who was standing in the gap between two buildings smoking a cigarette, flicked the burning weed at me, hitting the bridge of my nose and nearly burning my eyeI never did figure out why he did it, but after all, I was a fat band boy who didnt wear cool jeans (Levis, preferably with the stitching on the back pockets removed)
Around that same time, I got into an argument about something or other with Clifton Bryant, a boy who was a year or so older, but smaller than I wasOne day my friends and I decided to walk home from school, about three milesClifton lived in the same end of town, and he followed us home, taunting me and hitting me on the back and shoulders over and overWe walked like that all the way up Central Avenue to the fountain and the right turn to Park AvenueFor more than a mile I tried to ignore himFinally I couldnt take it anymoreI turned, took a big swing, and hit himIt was a good blow, but by the time it landed he had already turned to run away, so it caught him only in the backAs I said, I was slowWhen Clifton ran away home, I yelled at him to come back and fight like a manBy the time I got home, I had calmed down and the atta boys I got from my buddies had worn leather chanel bag offI was afraid I might have hurt him, so I made Mother call his house to make sure he was okayWe never had any trouble after thatI had learned I could defend myself, but I hadnt enjoyed hurting him and I was a little disturbed by my anger, the currents of which would prove deeper and stronger in the years aheadI now know that my anger on that day was a normal and healthy response to the way Id been treatedBut because of the way Daddy behaved when he was angry and drunk, I associated anger with being out of control and I was determined not to lose controlDoing so could unleash the deeper, constant anger I kept locked away because I didnt know where it came from
Even when I was mad I had sense enough not to take on every challengeTwice in those years, I took a pass, or, if youre inclined to be critical, a diveOnce I went swimming with the Crane kids in the Caddo River, west of Hot Springs, near a little town called Caddo GapOne of the local country boys came up to the riverbank near where I was swimming and shouted some insult at meSo I mouthed off back at himThen he picked up a rock and threw it at meHe was twenty yards or so away, but he hit me right in the head, near the temple, and drew bloodI wanted to get out and fight, but I could see he was bigger, stronger, and tougher than I, so I swam awayGiven my experiences with the ram, Tavia Perrys BB gun, and similar mistakes I still had ahead of me, I guess I did the right thing
The second time I took a pass in junior high I know I did replica louis vuitton wallet the right thingOn Friday nights there was always a dance in the gym of the local YMCAI loved rock-and-roll music and dancing and went frequently, starting in eighth or ninth grade, even though I was fat, uncool, and hardly popular with the girlsBesides, I still wore the wrong jeans
One night at the Y, I strolled into the poolroom next to the gym, where the Coke machine was, to get something to drinkSome older high school boys were shooting pool or standing around watchingOne of them was Henry Hill, whose family owned the old bowling alley downtown, the Lucky Strike LanesHenry started in on me about my jeans, which, that night, were especially raunchyThey were carpenters jeans, with a right side loop to hang a hammer inI was insecure enough without Henry grinding on me, so I sassed him backHe slugged me in the jaw as hard as he couldNow, I was big for my age, about five nine, 185 poundsBut Henry Hill was six foot six with an enormous reachNo way was I going to hit backBesides, to my amazement, it didnt hurt too badlySo I just stood my ground and stared at himI think Henry was surprised I didnt go down or run off, because he laughed, slapped me on the back, and said I was okayWe were always friendly after thatI had learned again that I could take a hit and that theres more than one way to stand against aggression
By the time I started ninth grade, in September 1960, the presidential campaign was in full swingMy homeroom and English teacher, Ruth Atkins, was also from Hope and, like me, a louis vuitton back pack stomp-down DemocratShe had us read and discuss Dickenss Great Expectations, but left lots of time for political debateHot Springs had more Republicans than most of the rest of Arkansas back then, but their roots were far less conservative than the current cropSome of the older families had been there since the Civil War and became Republicans because they were against secession and slaverySome families had Republican roots in Teddy Roosevelts progressivismOthers supported Eisenhowers moderate conservatism
The Arkansas Democrats were an even more diverse groupThose in the Civil War tradition were Democrats because their forebears had supported secession and slaveryA larger group swelled the ranks of the party in the Depression, when so many unemployed workers and poor farmers saw FDR as a savior and later loved our neighbor from Missouri, Harry TrumanA smaller group were immigrant Democrats, mostly from EuropeMost blacks were Democrats because of Roosevelt, and Trumans stand for civil rights, and their sense that Kennedy would be more aggressive than Nixon on the issueA small group of whites felt that way too
In Miss Atkinss class most of the kids were for NixonI remember David Leopoulos defending him on the grounds that he had far more experience than Kennedy, especially in foreign affairs, and that his civil rights record was pretty good, which was trueI didnt really have anything against Nixon at this pointI didnt know then about his Red-baiting campaigns for the House and Senate in chanel j12 watch California against Jerry Voorhis and Helen Gahagan Douglas, respectivelyI liked the way he stood up to Nikita KhrushchevIn 1956, I had admired both Eisenhower and Stevenson, but by 1960, I was a partisanI had been for LBJ in the primaries because of his Senate leadership, especially in passing a civil rights bill in 1957, and his poor southern rootsI also liked Hubert Humphrey, because he was the most passionate advocate for civil rights, and Kennedy, because of his youth, strength, and commitment to getting the country moving againWith Kennedy the nominee, I made the best case I could to my classmates
I badly wanted him to win, especially after he called Coretta King to express his concern when her husband was jailed, and after he spoke to the Southern Baptists in Houston, defending his faith and the right of Catholic Americans to run for PresidentMost of my classmates, and their parents, disagreedI was getting used to itA few months earlier, I had lost the student council presidents race to Mike Thomas, a good guy, who would be one of four classmates to be killed in VietnamNixon carried our county, but Kennedy squeaked by in Arkansas with 50 percent of the vote, despite the best efforts of Protestant fundamentalists to convince Baptist Democrats that he would be taking orders from the pope
Of course, the fact that he was a Catholic was one of the reasons I wanted Kennedy to be PresidentFrom my own experiences at StJohns School and my encounters with the nuns who worked with Mother at black and white chanel |
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